With Ukraine funding drying up, Biden picks up side job as the struggling guy in infomercials
WASHINGTON, DC—With the prospect of Ukrainian money laundering funds drying up, President* Joe Biden has taken up a side gig...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Millions of people mourn the news that George Soros has not died at the age of 93
US—Millions are mourning the news today that George Soros has not died at the age of 93. In a shocking...
‘Everyone must use their real name online’ says the woman born with the name Nimrata Randhawa
In a bold move towards transparency and accountability, said former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nikki Haley, whose real name...
Pink threatens to make conservatives listen to her music if they don’t start supporting gay porn in schools
In a shocking turn of events, pop sensation Pink has thrown down the gauntlet, warning conservatives that if they don't...
BREAKING: Dems and Reps come together to ensure Americans will always have catastrophic debt
WASHINGTON - In an era of extreme polarization, many were happy to hear that Democrats and Republicans have finally come...
BREAKING: Pope Francis ousts bishop for being ‘too Catholic’
VATICAN CITY—In a shocking turn of events at the Vatican, Pope Francis, known for his progressive stances and inclusive approach,...
AOC: If communism doesn’t work, how come Xi Jinping solved San Francisco’s homeless epidemic and poop all over the place just by visiting?
Hello fellow kids, gather 'round for a hot take that's fresher than last night's microwave pizza. So, like, if communism...
Speaker Johnson climbs mountain of Biden corruption evidence to declare ‘There’s not enough evidence to impeach Biden’
In a stunning display of political acrobatics, Speaker of the House, John Johnson, ascended the treacherous peak of evidence of...
Amid skyrocketing inflation, White House recommends Americans ‘stop being so poor’
WASHINGTON, DC—Amid record skyrocketing inflation, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre suggested a few things to help them through the...
Ohio officials warn pregnant women not to smoke their legal weed before getting a legal abortion because it may be harmful to the fetus
COLUMBUS, OH—Health officials in Ohio have warned pregnant women to avoid smoking their now-legal weed before getting a legal abortion...
