BREAKING: Judge Hugh Jassole says it’s unconstitutional for Trump to make America great again
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising judicial decision at 07:13 AM on February 10, 2025, Federal District Judge Hugh Jassole...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
JUST IN: Brave young Democrat influencers cut off their testicles in protest of Trump
In an unprecedented display of political fervor, a group of young, progressive activists known as the "Brave Democrats" - comprised...
Dems assure public on USAID: ‘It’s not corruption; It’s *democratic* corruption’
Washington, D.C.—As the DOGE audit unearths what many describe as egregious misuse of funds within USAID, Democrats have taken to...
Musk to Trump: ‘If there are 10 righteous people in USAID, will you spare it?’
THE CITY OF WASHINGTON—With the city's skyline transformed into a canvas for divine intervention, Elon, draped in robes that glowed...
BREAKING: Big Balls takes commanding lead in 2028 presidential polling
Washington, DC—The political landscape has been rocked by the revelation that Big Balls, once known only in the dark corners...
BREAKING: Judge Hugh Jassole declares the Constitution to be unconstitutional
In a ruling that has legal scholars scratching their heads and X users cackling into their keyboards, Judge Hugh Jassole...
BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them
WASHINGTON, DC—In an event that left the nation both shocked and amused, President Donald Trump signed an executive order banning...
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unprecedented political maneuver, Democrats have issued a warning to Elon Musk's "Department of Government Efficiency" (DOGE), claiming...
Groundhog Day 2025: Punxsutawney Phil predicts 6 more weeks of Liberal Tears
Punxsutawney, PA – In what has become an annual tradition of political prognostication, Punxsutawney Phil, the world's most famous groundhog,...
Charli XCX criticized for making a bunch of annoying noises during her Grammys porn show
HOLLYWOOD—In what can only be described as a bewildering assault on the auditory senses, Charli XCX took to the stage...
