Ocasio-Cortez to overturn the law of gravity because it’s ‘oppressing us’
WASHINGTON, DC—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made another bold legislative move promising to overturn the law of gravity because, "it's oppressing us." "When...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
FACT-CHECK: Beto did not contract monkeypox from that gay orgy on the campaign trail
EL PASO, TX—Democratic hopeful for Texas Governor Beto O’Rourke announced via Twitter on Aug. 28, 2022, that he had to...
Lizzo urges fans to vote to overturn the law of gravity which is ‘oppressing us’
US—Obese singer Lizzo used her moment in the spotlight at MTV’s Video Music Awards (VMAs) to urge her fans to...
Paul Pelosi rushes to take out millions in student loans before Biden makes you pay for them
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Paul Pelosi, husband of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has rushed to take out several million dollars...
JUST IN: Pfizer releases new delivery mechanism for monkeyox vaccines
US—After backlash over the news of the Pfizer vaccines and boosters, the pharmaceutical giant has released a new delivery method...
BREAKING: Biden to transfer all home mortgage loans to homeless people and renters
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the popular move to "forgive" student debt and transfer it to people who never went to college, President*...
BREAKING: Redacted FBI warrant for Mar-a-Lago raid just says ‘Orange Man Bad’
WASHINGTON, DC—The Justice Department released a sealed version of its proposed redactions to the FBI affidavit used to get a...
Biden clarifies that student loan forgiveness will only be for people with completely worthless degrees like ‘Gender Studies’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden clarified his student loan forgiveness program today, stating that it will only apply to people with completely...
‘I can’t afford my student loan’ woman wearing $1000 outfit tweets on $800 phone
Angry with the injustice of the financial system, fashionable local woman Charlie Burke hate tweeted, "I can't afford my student...
