After a shocking series of events, Democratic hopeful Robert “Beto” O’Rourke has doubled down on his anti-gun stance. The former jailbird has stated that if elected president, he will replace all of the US nuclear weapons with NERF darts.
“It’s really the only common sense thing to do,” O’Rourke said through a translator who translated into Spanish and then back to English. “Hell yes we’re going to take your nukes!”
Russian President Vladimir Putin gave a warm response to the move. “I hope this teddy bear is elected. I would like to play this game.”
A spokesman for NERF was elated. “We are happy to hear of this decision and welcome it as we move into the international warfare arena.”
Stocks for Northrop Grumman fell on the news.