WASHINGTON, DC–Following on his predecessor Barack Obama’s tradition, President* Joe Biden wished every American a “Happy Dependence Day” this July Fourth.

“Thanks to the constant fear porn and regulation by the feds and state the last year and a half, more Americans than ever are dependent on government and that just warms my heart,” Biden said at the annual 4th of July address. “The more dependent you are on government, the more power we have to sell to the Chinese.”

As Alexander Fraser Tytler said, “A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the majority discovers it can vote itself largess out of the public treasury.” And so it has.

Behind the scenes, Vice President* Kamala Harris was devising a plan to put everyone in prison so that they could all get health care.

_{Originally published July 3, 2024.}

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Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

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