BRILLIANT: Tesla unveils ‘Original’ and ‘Extra Crispy’ models
AUSTIN—In a move that’s equal parts genius and gloriously unhinged, Elon Musk has once again turned disaster into dollar signs,...
Business
BREAKING: Scientists discover that chickens lay more eggs when you stop killing billions of them for no reason
Researchers at the Institute of Feathered Futures (IFF) have uncovered a startling truth: chickens lay more eggs when you stop...
BREAKING: Trump derangement syndrome has mutated into deadlier variant Trump & Elon derangement syndrome
US—Scientists and social commentators alike are sounding the alarm as a new, more virulent strain of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS)...
Democrats explain that painting Swastikas everywhere and torching immigrant businesses ‘Isn’t Fascism, It’s *Democratic* Fascism’
SEATTLE–Leading Democrats have unveiled a groundbreaking defense of their latest grassroots initiative: painting swastikas on public buildings and setting fire...
If you don’t want your plane to explode and flip over on landing, you may be a sexist racist bigot
It's 2025, and we're still grappling with what it means to be 'woke' on a global scale, but nowhere is...
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States is experiencing the worst shortage of conspiracy theories in decades as all of them have come true...
BREAKING: Trump signs executive order allowing straight white people in commercials again
Washington D.C. – In a move that has sent shockwaves through the advertising world, former President Donald Trump, now the...
Dems who haven’t met a tax they didn’t love now worried about tariffs
For all of modern history, Democrats have had one consistent trait: they haven't really cared if the government makes things...
Gaza goat population explodes as Trump ends condom giveaway
Gaza City - In a surprising turn of events, Gaza's goat population is set to undergo a significant boom, following...
Lyft launches ‘Forklyft’: the Ride-Sharing Service for the Morbidly Obese
In an unexpected twist following the recent lawsuit filed by Detroit rapper Dank Demoss against Lyft, the ride-sharing giant has...
