Elon Musk Sleeping Horribly Due to His Hoarding $1 Trillion in Cash Under His Mattress
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla, SpaceX, and several other ventures valued in the hundreds of billions, is...
Business
“Elon Musk Is a Parasite,” Say Politicians Who Live Entirely on Extorted Taxpayer Money
WASHINGTON — A bipartisan coalition of lawmakers denounced billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk as a “parasite” Tuesday, arguing that his companies’...
Trump Announces 38th Final Iran Peace Deal Coincidentally Timed With Enormous Stock Bet
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Thursday that the United States and Iran are on the verge of signing what...
Wealth Redistribution Surprisingly Popular Among People With No Wealth
Washington, D.C. — A new poll released Tuesday by the Institute for Economic Sentiment found that Americans with a net...
Indulgence as Support for Your Values
People usually talk about indulgence as if it automatically works against discipline. It gets framed as the thing you do...
Spirit Halloween Officially Takes Over Spirit Airlines
MIRAMAR, Fla. — Spirit Airlines announced Tuesday that it has been acquired by Spirit Halloween in a deal valued at...
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States declared a national emergency Tuesday after intelligence agencies confirmed what had long been whispered in dimly lit...
Stephen Colbert becomes neo-Nazi to garner funds from Southern Poverty Law Center
NEW YORK, NY — In a bold and deeply confusing pivot widely described as “either performance art or a cry...
Ilhan Omar Quietly Shuts Down Her “Quality Winary Center” as Ethics Scrutiny Intensifies
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move described by aides as “a routine operational adjustment,” Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) has discreetly...
NY Times Wins Pulitzer For Nailing 3 Out of 4 Words In ‘NATO’
NEW YORK — In a stunning display of journalistic precision that left the industry breathless, The New York Times was...
