AOC: ‘These poor animals can’t fly because heartless people keep eating their wings’
Freshman congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is launching a new campaign to save the buffalo from having their wings harvested for...
Business
Medicare for All would save $450 billion by replacing most drugs with magical unicorn poop
Democratic socialist presidential candidate Bernie Sanders unveiled his latest plan to save Americans billions of dollars through his Medicare for...
Bernie Sanders selects Bernie Madoff as running mate, citing experience in Ponzi schemes
Democratic socialist senator and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has selected his running mate: convicted white collar criminal Bernie Madoff, citing...
BREAKING: Walmart warns of critical shortage of tons of worthless plastic crap from China due to coronavirus
The retail superstore Walmart has issued a warning for all customers that they are experiencing a critical shortage of worthless...
Bernie furious Bloomberg is using his own money to buy votes instead of other people’s money like him
Democratic socialist front runner Bernie Sanders is fuming that Michael Bloomberg is using his own money to buy votes instead...
Clintons launch new furniture store: ILKEEYA
Since Hillary Clinton's loss, the Clinton foundation has been burning through cash without very many new donors. A new income...
Babylon Bee retracts article making fun of people who make fun of AOC: ‘actually she really is that stupid’
The satire website The Babylon Bee has been forced to retract an article that makes fun of people who make...
Shakira to sacrifice two goats in annual Illuminati halftime show
MIAMI—The annual Illuminati initiation ritual, also known as the Super Bowl half time show, will feature an unprecedented number of...
Observers astonished UK survives 24 hours apart from EU
International observers are astonished that the United Kingdom hasn't disintegrated into a chaotic primordial cesspool of racists and xenophobes after...
Fans donate thousands to give Colin Kaepernick his own used helicopter
In a heartwarming tale of generosity following the tragic death of sports superstar Kobe Bryant, fans of have donated nearly...
