AOC: ‘These poor pumpkins have been drained of their spice by illegal poachers; this needs to stop!’
I don't know who needs to hear it, but pumpkin spice poaching is not okay. I just visited a field...
Business
BREAKING: New fake government economic data in line with completely fabricated economic forecast
In a stunning but entirely predictable announcement, the Federal Reserve proudly reported that the latest batch of completely made-up economic...
BREAKING: Personalized Coke Machine at White House Now Dispenses Actual Dime Bags with Hunter Biden’s Name on Them
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to avoid future confusion and streamline the investigative process, the White House has unveiled a state-of-the-art...
Democrats disappointed to discover they can’t fill up their grocery carts or gas tanks with ‘joy’
Washington, D.C. – Millions of Democrats across the nation have been left disappointed and, in some cases, outright bewildered, upon...
BREAKING: Biden/Harris stop taking credit for economy as stock market crashes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning reversal of their usual rhetoric, President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris have...
Crowdstrike CEO: ‘Internet shutdown was successful test run for the real thing coming in November’
AUSTIN—Crowdstrike CEO Shawn Henry has announced that the recent nationwide internet shutdown, which affected voting machines and 911 service, was...
John Deere changes its name to John Queere
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, John Deere, the iconic American agricultural machinery manufacturer, has officially changed its...
Creators of Pride Month launch Extreme Avarice Month in July
US—Working off the success of the wildly popular June Pride Month, creators have launched the sequel, "Extreme Avarice Month" in...
Lego releases new Gaza Pride set
This revolutionary new toy is designed to promote cultural sensitivity and to teach children about the importance of acceptance and...
Walmart pulls Fried Chicken & Watermelon ‘Juneteenth’ ice cream after backlash
LOS ANGELES—Walmart has apologized for the Juneteenth items that its selling at its stores, specifically the Watermelon & Fried Chicken...
