New York reveals new motto: ‘We’ll kill your babies and run your business out of town!’
Content with exactly how things are, New York has recently expanded abortion access and quashed a potential partnership with Amazon.com,...
Business
Spacious 2-bed, 1-bath pothole for rent in great neighborhood
Great location right in the heart of town! This spacious pothole comes with a large fenced in driveway and easy...
Ocasio-Cortez enlists first cow-fart police to combat global warming
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has started implementing her Green New Deal already, before any congressional approval or without any rational second opinion....
STUDY: 67% of employees still trying to escape conversation with chatty coworkers
U.S.—A new study conducted by the CDC has found that almost 70% of all office workers are currently attempting to...
Wealthy legislator proposes 100% tax on everyone who is richer than he is
The first-ever living turd elected to Congress, Chet, has proposed a new tax on the highest income earners. According to...
BREAKING: Everyone’s mother officially enters Democratic primary to defeat Trump
In a move that many analysts had predicted for months, Everyone's mother officially put her name in the Democratic primary...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez campaigns with Dr. Evil for $1 million minimum wage
After many municipalities have mandated employers pay a minimum wage of $15 an hour, others are campaigning for higher minimum...
Gillette Introduces ‘Ball Blades’ to Help Fight ‘Toxic Masculinity’ via Castration
The razor giant Gillette is embracing the #MeToo movement with its new line of blades designed especially for excising testes....
APA declares masculinity a disease; millions of men apply for disability and society collapses
The American Psychiatric Association recently published its guidelines for men and boys, which declared "traditional masculinity" a disease as it...
California gas prices plummet to about the price of a kidney on the black market
Californians are enjoying some of the lowest gas prices in recent memory despite the government's efforts to tax the fuel...
