BREAKING: COVID-19 has died after infecting Chuck Norris at age 81
DALLAS—COVID-19, the novel coronavirus, which has wrecked havoc across the globe, has been declared dead after infecting Chuck Norris. "We...
Entertainment
Biden narrowly misses price of the $3.5 trillion budget on Price is Right by $3.5 trillion
BURBANK, California—Joe Biden narrowly missed the correct price on a $3.5 trillion budget on the Price is Right today, guessing...
BREAKING: COVID doesn’t spread at awards shows; galas
HOLLYWOOD—Celebrities and elites on both coasts will be pleased to know that the most dangerous disease in human history, COVID-19,...
Everyone at the Emmys wins award for pretending to care
HOHLLYWOOD—Seth Rogan won the first award of the night for virtue signaling about COVID right off the bat. "Good to...
Ghost of Norm MacDonald joins Genesius Times
Most of the comedy world was shaken by the announcement of the passing of comedian Norm MacDonald, who Steven Crowder...
Biden mandates shoving marbles up everyone’s asses after tweet by Nicki Minaj
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Biden has issued a rare edict mandating that all Americans have marbles shoved up their asses to fight...
Introducing Taliban Barbie with hijab, Quran, and a forced marriage license!
Toy maker Mattel has introduced a wonderful toy for all the girls and boys who identify as girls out there:...
Schwarzenegger stars in new film as cyborg sent back to kill off humanity with mass vaccination program
HOLLYWOOD—Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is back on the big screen this summer, staring in a new Terminator film called The...
New Dr. Sucher: ‘If You’re Born with a Dick, You ARE NOT a Chick’
ABERDEEN, WA—It's hard to imagine after so many Dr. Seuss books being banned for bigotry that this new edition will...
Lego releases new Kamala Harris set showcasing the rise to power of the vice president
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK—Toy manufacturer Lego has released a new Kamala Harris set showcasing the rise to power of the vice president....
