CNN rehires Jeffrey Toobin as Chief OnlyFans Correspondent
In a touching story of redemption, Jeffrey Toobin returned to CNN following his embarrassing departure when the former Chief Legal...
Entertainment
OPED: It takes balls for John Cena to let China cut them off like he did
Many have mocked and ridiculed John Cena for apologizing to China and the totalitarian Chinese Communist Party for daring to...
50 Shades of Communism
Netflix is releasing a new film staring democratic socialists Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: 50 Shades of Communism. The man...
Lego announces that all their minifigures have had sex change operations
BILLUND, DENMARK—The children's toy company Lego announced today that all the minifigures (the small Lego figurines) that you've been playing...
Disney opens new White Guilt Ride where whites can pay $160 to be slaves
VISTA DEL MAL, FL—In a brave move to call attention to systemic racism Disney World is introducing a new ride...
BREAKING: Demi Lovato comes out as an attention whore
HOLLYWOOD—Many sources are reporting that Demi Lovato has come out as an attention whore. The story is now more important...
Biden addresses gas lines by sending in world class musicians
In June of 1973, the price of a gallon of gasoline was under 50 cents. By May of 1974, it...
BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir
DOOSHE, DE--Hunter Biden's heavily-promoted sex- and drug-filled memoir "Beautiful Things" has tanked in its first week on bookshelves, selling only...
Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...
Biden cancels April Fool’s Day because it marginalizes Democrats
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has officially cancelled April Fool's Day because it promotes the continued marginalization of his voters. "April...
