ACLU sues God for only creating two genders
Serving the papers to God proved to be the most daunting part of the lawsuit brought forth by the ACLU...
Entertainment
Super woke Disney’s Toy Story 4: Woody is gay and Bo Peep has abortion
The once great children's entertainment company Disney has recently taken a dark turn with CEO explicitly advocating for limiting new...
BREAKING: Global Warming Apocalypse, originally scheduled for 2020, has been postponed to 2050
Due to the forecast of typical rain, sun, wind, possible thunderstorms, and basically the same climate across the globe throughout...
Local man 100% convinced after someone used clapping emojis in illogical tweet
In a rare social media victory, an sociopathic dirtbag convinced a reasonable person of his illogical position simply by inserting...
OPINION: Jesus never said anything about cold-cocking hobos
Bless me dear readers for I have sinned. Well, technically, I have sinned according to the ancient precepts of the...
Children’s movie company to boycott Georgia for saving the lives of children
Disney's CEO Robert Iger is mad about Georgia's new heartbeat bill which outlaws the killing of prenatal humans once a...
Now you can rent your favorite celebrities!
We’ve all had this one dream at one point in our life. I’m not talking about romance, but renting celebrities...
Genesius Times surpasses CNN as most reliable source of fake news in US
Genesius Times, the satire site with journalistic integrity, has surpassed CNN as the most reliable source of fake news in...
Beto livestreams a bout of violent diarrhea
In an effort to stay ultra-relative and relateable, the Democratic presidential candidate Robert Francis "Beto" O'Rourke has been livestreaming absolutely...
Awkward! Leaked memo clarifies Mark Zuckerberg’s deep-seated affinity for fascism
In a leaked memo, from Facebook’s headquarters in Silicone Valley, some extremely statements were made by its founder and CEO...
