Nation shocked that 2024 Miss America winner is an actual woman
In a plot twist that has left the nation in collective disbelief, this year's Miss America pageant concluded with the...
Entertainment
Jimmy Kimmel denies getting moob surgery on Epstein Island
HOLLYWOOD—In the latest episode of the surreal sitcom that is Jimmy Kimmel's life, the late-night funnyman finds himself at the...
Jimmy Kimmel: ‘I didn’t need 60 trips to Epstein Island to disrespect women my entire career’
Comedian and talk show host Jimmy Kimmel addressed the swirling rumors and allegations surrounding his association with Jeffrey Epstein's infamous...
Green Day changes its name to Gay
In a move that can only be described as both progressive and potentially confusing for fans, iconic punk rock band...
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson Auditions for Angry Birds
CHICAGO—Mayor Brandon Johnson recently stepped into the world of mobile gaming, leaving behind the political battlegrounds of the Windy City...
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
CENTURY CITY, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD...
On this day in 1993, Harvard President Claudine Gay wrote the songs All I Want For Christmas Is You, Silent Night, Jingle Bell Rock, and Panama
BOSTON—Harvard President Claudine Gay is not just an esteemed scholar but also the clandestine creative genius behind some of the...
SNL writers desperate for jokes, plead: ‘If only the Bidens would do something worth making fun of’
In a perplexing turn of events, the Saturday Night Live (SNL) writing team found themselves in an uncharted territory as...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to honor Native Americans on Unthanksgiving
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Thanksgiving, you’re a racist colonizer, so that’s why most woke cultures and municipalities will...
Pink threatens to make conservatives listen to her music if they don’t start supporting gay porn in schools
In a shocking turn of events, pop sensation Pink has thrown down the gauntlet, warning conservatives that if they don't...
