Nation shocked that 2024 Miss America winner is an actual woman
In a plot twist that has left the nation in collective disbelief, this year's Miss America pageant concluded with the...
Culture
BREAKING: Biden cancels MLK Day because ‘he ain’t black’
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden isn't even president yet and he's already shaking things up. Biden unilaterally cancelled the Martin Luther King...
The Desire To Not Die In A Plane Crash Is Rooted In White Supremacy
In a groundbreaking revelation that's set to redefine the way we view air travel, a group of social justice warriors...
KC Chiefs change name to KC Swifts, promise more airtime to new mascot
In a surprising move that combines sports, pop culture, and an apparent disdain for controversial mascots, the Kansas City Swifts...
Jimmy Kimmel denies getting moob surgery on Epstein Island
HOLLYWOOD—In the latest episode of the surreal sitcom that is Jimmy Kimmel's life, the late-night funnyman finds himself at the...
Jimmy Kimmel: ‘I didn’t need 60 trips to Epstein Island to disrespect women my entire career’
Comedian and talk show host Jimmy Kimmel addressed the swirling rumors and allegations surrounding his association with Jeffrey Epstein's infamous...
Green Day changes its name to Gay
In a move that can only be described as both progressive and potentially confusing for fans, iconic punk rock band...
Biden releases his 1924 New Year’s resolutions
President Biden has just released his 1924 New Year’s resolutions at a press conference today in Washington, DC. “Yes, here...
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson Auditions for Angry Birds
CHICAGO—Mayor Brandon Johnson recently stepped into the world of mobile gaming, leaving behind the political battlegrounds of the Windy City...
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
CENTURY CITY, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD...
