BREAKING: Everyone’s mother officially enters Democratic primary to defeat Trump
In a move that many analysts had predicted for months, Everyone's mother officially put her name in the Democratic primary...
Culture
CBS to air beloved film ‘Heidi’ instead of ‘toxic masculine’ Super Bowl
In a nod to feminist movements across the world including the popular "#metoo" campaign, CBS has decided that it won't...
Pope Francis slams pro-abortion Catholics for ‘lack of compassion,…cruelty, exaggerated self-praise’
Just kidding. He was talking about Catholic media who criticize pro-abortion Catholics: The outcome of our pastoral work, evangelization and...
New York Assembly to install Aztec-like altar for all child sacrifices to take place
A problem arose after the New York legislature passed a new abortion bill and Governor Andrew Cuomo signed it into...
Travelers cheer as TSA officers return to fondle their privates
U.S.—Plane travelers across the United States are celebrating the end of the government shutdown primarily because the T.S.A. guards are...
BREAKING: Two wrongs actually make a right; millions of mothers stunned
In stunning reversal, it has been decided that two wrongs do, in fact, make a right. Following recent incidents in...
Activists raze Columbus, OH to the ground in reparation for Christopher Columbus
Columbus, OH—207 years after its founding, activists have started tearing down buildings and dismantling the transportation system as a way...
NY’s Cuomo unable to remove mysterious red stains from hands
For a week, New York's Governor Andrew Cuomo has been dealing with a mysterious red stain on his hands. The...
Pope Francis to bring back Inquisition for Cuomo, New York legislators after abortion bill
After New York passed a bill allowing abortion to be performed up to the point of birth, calls have come...
White supremacists applaud New York abortion law that will kill more minorities than ever
The New York Legislature has passed an ultra-progressive bill that Governor Andrew Cuomo has signed, making abortion legal up to...
