BREAKING: Pope Francis changes the Lord’s Prayer, adds ‘deliver us from the evils of global warming’
Rocking all of Christendom, Pope Francis announced that he will be changing the Lord's Prayer (the "Our Father"), adding, "deliver...
Culture
Feminist mob demands equal representation in trash collection, other dangerous and gross professions
In a bold protest, a mob of self-proclaimed angry feminists demanded equal female representation in the field of trash collection...
Local woman’s faith shook to the core when unexpected thunderstorm ruins her outdoor wedding
"It was not supposed to happen like this." Jessica Trayler exclusively recounted for us as unexpected thunderstorms rolled through Northern...
Local man accidentally expels wife’s demons while reciting prayers from dusty old Latin book
While cleaning out his attic, a local man stumbled upon a dusty old prayer book written in Latin that is...
Town prohibits wishing people “happy holidays” as it is too “Christmas-y”
The Town Council of Wannanacho, Oregon passed a resolution restricting holiday greetings between people this week. It was already illegal...
Guy in cubicle certain that his next sniffle will be the last
After 783 continuous workdays in which he coughed and sniffled every 15 seconds, the guy in the cubicle next to...
BREAKING: Scholar discovers Bible verse saying Bible is the sole infallible rule of faith and practice
An ancient texts scholar has discovered the Bible verse that proves that the Bible is the sole infallible rule of...
Local toddler barely escapes horrifying persecution of being given the “red” cup.
"It was probably the worst experience of his life," little Jared's mother explained. Her son narrowly escaped the horrifying experience...
Vatican appoints 3 toed sloth to efficiency panel
In a move that some are calling brazen, Pope Francis has appointed an actual 3 toed sloth to the Vatican...
Several college students hospitalized after intense virtue signalling
Hospitals across the country have recently been inundated with patients injured by a new condition, intense virtue signalling trauma, or...
