Travelers cheer as TSA officers return to fondle their privates
U.S.—Plane travelers across the United States are celebrating the end of the government shutdown primarily because the T.S.A. guards are...
Culture
BREAKING: Two wrongs actually make a right; millions of mothers stunned
In stunning reversal, it has been decided that two wrongs do, in fact, make a right. Following recent incidents in...
Activists raze Columbus, OH to the ground in reparation for Christopher Columbus
Columbus, OH—207 years after its founding, activists have started tearing down buildings and dismantling the transportation system as a way...
NY’s Cuomo unable to remove mysterious red stains from hands
For a week, New York's Governor Andrew Cuomo has been dealing with a mysterious red stain on his hands. The...
Pope Francis to bring back Inquisition for Cuomo, New York legislators after abortion bill
After New York passed a bill allowing abortion to be performed up to the point of birth, calls have come...
White supremacists applaud New York abortion law that will kill more minorities than ever
The New York Legislature has passed an ultra-progressive bill that Governor Andrew Cuomo has signed, making abortion legal up to...
New York Governor Cuomo wears pink to celebrate all the female babies he’s going to kill
In a proud moment for all women, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo wore a pink tie and has instructed the...
Ocasio-Cortez to quit Congress and become full-time soothsayer
New York, N.Y.—In an abrupt announcement not a month into her historic first term, N.Y. Congresswoman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez has declared...
DC city council outlaws ‘smiling terrorism’ after Covington Catholic incident
You've probably seen the video. A teenage boy--all 110 pounds of him--looking at a grown man and smiling. It's horrifying...
Social justice warrior: ‘Honor MLK by judging others by skin color not the content of their character’
A modern civil rights group called Social Justice Now held a rally on the National Mall today in honor of...
