US Bobsled team renames their sled ‘Biden’ because nothing has taken America downhill faster
BEIJING—In preparation for the 2022 Winter Olympics, the US bobsled team has named their #1 sled "Biden" because nothing has...
Culture
UPENN combines men’s / women’s swim teams; winning now based on talent and looks
PHILADELPHIA—UPENN Board of Trustees will announce tomorrow that the best solution for the swim team’s trans conundrum is to keep...
Meghan & Harry: ‘We spent our last $3700 on publicity’
BROKE magazine interviewed The Duke and Duchess of Montecito on their last day in their once lovely, now empty home....
AOC demands ‘they make black snow because white snow is racist’
NEW YORK CITY—Many New Yorkers including US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are blaming racism for the devastating winter storm Kenan that...
New White House cat bears strong resemblance to missing cat from Pennsylvania
Willow Glen farmer Andy “Buck’ Clydebrook shook his head when told that his cat, Willow, missing for a while, looked...
Chicago Mayor Lightfoot offers cash reward to take down Batman
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot has stepped it up a notch by offering a cash reward for anyone who can capture and...
Joe Rogan replaces Neil Young in Crosby, Stills & Nash supergroup
Legendary folk rock supergroup Crosby, Stills & Nash announced comedian Joe Rogan joined the band and will begin touring unvaccinated-mandated...
Fauci: new federal ‘Jumbo’, XXX size anal swabs approved for TSA airport use
WASHINGTON, DC—Airline travel will be much safer with the use of the new Omicron, XXX anal swabs being utilized by...
Neil Young diagnosed with SIS; put on career ventilator, fans hold vigil for Spotify sales
REDWOOD CITY—Singer, songwriter Neil Young was admitted into the PR firm of APCO last night, suffering from delusions of importance...
Facebook launches new ‘vaccinated heart’ react icon complete with myocarditis
MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook, which is also known by its new name Fascbook has launched a new react button icon to...
