Bernie: “Sacrificing poor people to Moloch is our only hope against climate change”
A long time ago, in the land of fairies and magic, human beings collectively believed they could appease their angry...
Religion
DiCaprio: ‘Humanity has 12 years to repent and submit to my climate authority!’
Leonardo DiCaprio has called on his followers to repent and submit to his climate authority in a bid to save...
Oppressive white stick figure lynched on George Washington University campus
Thinking the dark days of lynching were well behind us, I was first shocked and then admittedly exhilarated to discover...
Enlightened progressive recycles platitude ‘Prayers won’t change anything’ for the 278th time this year
Cue the eye-rolls. In the wake of tragedy, a nation full of people capable of doing little more than praying,...
Notorious welfare queens proceed to lecture Americans about right and wrong
Nobody saw this coming. Google, tech overlord the world over, having made billions turning taxpayer money into infrastructure and search...
Angsty pre-teen destroys thousands of expert biblical scholars across millennia with brilliant summary, ‘it wuz all made up duh’
Wylie Marie, of North Dakota fame, just destroyed two-millenia of biblical exegesis in one fell swoop. During a stretch of...
Thousands of protestors who never go to hardware stores vow to quit shopping at Home Depot
Now things are heating up! After the founder of Home Depot was found giving money to the Drumpf 2020 presidential...
Fed up with blasphemous ice cream licking fad, local government enlists help from Spanish Inquisition
Well, nobody expected this twist. After suffering through years of Facebook fueled viral movements, one small government in East Texas...
Following successful Pride Month, lazy Americans name July Sloth Month
After what some commentators are calling “the gayest month ever”, advocates around the country are hoping to promote their own...
OPINION: Bronze-Aged bigot loses head over traditional marriage
Today marks the feast of John the Baptist on the Patriarchal calendar of the Catholic church. John, among other weird...
