BREAKING: Biden cures COVID
(CNN) WASHINGTON, DC—Just days after President* Joe Biden cured cancer, Biden has also cured COVID. “You know, we were so...
Health
BREAKING: Biden eliminates all cancer in the U.S. by changing the definition of cancer to ‘disease no one has’
WASHINGTON, DC—Just a day after President* Joe Biden vowed to eliminate cancer in his Cancer Moonshot, he has succeeded 100%....
Fauci: ‘Be sure to wear three coats this winter so the person next to you doesn’t freeze to death’
WASHINGTON, DC—Outgoing NIAID Director Anthony Fauci weighed in on potential life-threatening conditions this winter and encouraged every American to "wear...
New study shows that millions of vaccinated men are unable to get pregnant
US—A shocking new study has revealed that millions of vaccinated men are unable to get pregnant, stumping experts in the...
BREAKING: Queen Elizabeth II has information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
LONDON—Queen Elizabeth II — the longest-reigning monarch in British history — has information that will lead to the arrest and...
PA Senate candidate Fetterman hires Joe Biden to interpret his incoherent ramblings
HARRISBURG, PA—If there's anyone that understands incoherent ramblings, it's the president* of the United States, Joe Biden. That's what the...
Novak Djokovic enters U.S. through Southern border so he doesn’t have to be vaccinated
US—Tennis superstar Novak Djokovic has entered the United States through the Southern border with thousands of illegal immigrants so he...
FACT-CHECK: Beto did not contract monkeypox from that gay orgy on the campaign trail
EL PASO, TX—Democratic hopeful for Texas Governor Beto O’Rourke announced via Twitter on Aug. 28, 2022, that he had to...
JUST IN: Pfizer releases new delivery mechanism for monkeyox vaccines
US—After backlash over the news of the Pfizer vaccines and boosters, the pharmaceutical giant has released a new delivery method...
BREAKING: Biden to replace Fauci with Dr. Jill Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—After hearing about the departure of Dr. Anthony Fauci from the NIAID and government service, President* Joe Biden promised...
