WARNING: Call your doctor if your election is painful or lasts longer than 4 days
US—Physicians across the country are recommending a little red pill that does wonders for your election but warn that if...
Health
BREAKING: Biden devours several children in playful new Halloween sacrifice ritual at White House
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has been caught on camera devouring several children in a new Halloween sacrifice tradition at the...
BREAKING: Newly pregnant AOC to have abortion on CNN to boost ratings
ATLANTA—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has agreed to appear on CNN for a special episode titled "Abortion on the Air: AOC's Decision."...
JUST IN: Kamala Harris reassures Hurricane victims that she was the first VP to tour an abortion facility
In an emotional press conference today, Vice President Kamala Harris offered comfort to the victims of Hurricane Helene by reminding...
BREAKING: Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached the US
Hot on the heals of the dual plagues of COVID-19 and the Asian murder hornets, Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached...
POLL: What should Biden rename monkeypox to make it more inclusive?
Following a bigoted response to monkeypox with some people pointing out that homosexuals constitute 98% of the cases, the Biden...
BREAKING: Monkeypox outbreak traced back to several ‘White Dudes For Harris’ rallies
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking development, health officials have traced the recent surge in monkeypox cases to a series...
BREAKING: Following declining poll numbers for Kamala Harris, the WHO declares a global emergency over the monkeypox virus
NEW YORK—Following a sharp decline in Vice President Kamala Harris’s poll numbers, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared a...
Harris Unveils New Campaign Slogan: “No Tax On Men’s Tampons”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold and unexpected move, Vice President Kamala Harris has unveiled her campaign's new slogan: "No...
BREAKING: Biden credits the COVID vaccine for him only getting a mild case of dementia
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprising turn of events, President Joe Biden held a press conference today to express his...
