JUST IN: Pfizer releases new delivery mechanism for monkeyox vaccines
US—After backlash over the news of the Pfizer vaccines and boosters, the pharmaceutical giant has released a new delivery method...
Health
BREAKING: Biden to replace Fauci with Dr. Jill Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—After hearing about the departure of Dr. Anthony Fauci from the NIAID and government service, President* Joe Biden promised...
Branch Covidians hold candlelight vigil after learning Fauci will be stepping down
US—Adherents to the fastest growing religion in the country, the Branch Covidian cult, held candlelight vigils across the country after...
BREAKING: Hunter Biden tests positive for every disease except COVID
US—During this global health crisis, austere businessman Hunter Biden has tested positive for every disease except for COVID, which is...
BREAKING: Twitter suspends the CDC for contradicting the CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned the Centers for Disease Control and Propagation (CDC) indefinitely from its platform...
BREAKING: Republicans trick Biden into taking a cognition test by telling him it’s a COVID test
WASHINGTON, DC—US House Republicans have been trying to trick President* Joe Biden into taking a cognition test since the oldest...
BREAKING: Biden outlaws attempts to stop the spread of monkeypox as a hate crime
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has outlawed any attempt to try to stop the spread of monkey pox as a hate...
POLL: What should Biden rename monkeypox to make it more inclusive?
Following a bigoted response to monkeypox with some people pointing out that homosexuals constitute 98% of the cases, the Biden...
Biden Administration Changes the Definition of ‘Dementia’
As Americans continue to question President Biden's mental fitness and competency, the White House proudly announced updates to the Department...
FACT CHECK: It’s perfectly normal to not blink for several minutes straight
(CNN) WASHINGTON, DC—Several conspiracy theories have emerged following a social media post by President Joe Biden in which he doesn't...
