BREAKING: Newly pregnant AOC to have abortion on CNN to boost ratings
ATLANTA—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has agreed to appear on CNN for a special episode titled "Abortion on the Air: AOC's Decision."...
Health
JUST IN: Kamala Harris reassures Hurricane victims that she was the first VP to tour an abortion facility
In an emotional press conference today, Vice President Kamala Harris offered comfort to the victims of Hurricane Helene by reminding...
BREAKING: Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached the US
Hot on the heals of the dual plagues of COVID-19 and the Asian murder hornets, Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached...
POLL: What should Biden rename monkeypox to make it more inclusive?
Following a bigoted response to monkeypox with some people pointing out that homosexuals constitute 98% of the cases, the Biden...
BREAKING: Monkeypox outbreak traced back to several ‘White Dudes For Harris’ rallies
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking development, health officials have traced the recent surge in monkeypox cases to a series...
BREAKING: Following declining poll numbers for Kamala Harris, the WHO declares a global emergency over the monkeypox virus
NEW YORK—Following a sharp decline in Vice President Kamala Harris’s poll numbers, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared a...
Harris Unveils New Campaign Slogan: “No Tax On Men’s Tampons”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold and unexpected move, Vice President Kamala Harris has unveiled her campaign's new slogan: "No...
BREAKING: Biden credits the COVID vaccine for him only getting a mild case of dementia
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprising turn of events, President Joe Biden held a press conference today to express his...
Quarantined Joe Biden grows mustache so he can continue sniffing hair
WASHINGTON, DC – Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been quarantined and staffers for his campaign have finally convinced him to...
White House politely asks enemies to not start WWIII between 4pm and 10am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move aimed at accommodating President* Biden's cognitive awareness schedule, the White House has formally requested that all...
