Biden executive order punishes parents who don’t chop off the arms of kids who identify as T-Rex
WASHINGTON, DC–President* Joe Biden signed legislation yesterday that criminalizes parents who don't chop off the arms of their children who...
Health
BREAKING: SARS-CoV-2 has finally met its maker
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious disease creator, tested positive for COVID-19 Wednesday. Fauci, 81, tested positive on a rapid...
Fauci abruptly changes course on Ivermectin, Remdesivir after contracting COVID
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Anthony Fauci has reversed course on the drugs Ivermectin and Remdesivir after he contracted COVID this week. Until...
To fight racism, WHO will rename monkeypox ‘honkeypox’
The World Health Organization said Tuesday it will rename the monkeypox virus after concern that it could stoke racism and stigma. The...
Burger King releases new gay burger topped with monkeypox or AIDS
Burger King wants its customers to be fully immersed in Pride this year by releasing their new Gay Whoppers, which...
Bill Gates releases new book ‘I Want to Kill Half of You’
SEATTLE—Bill Gates recently released his new book, "I Want to Kill Half of You," in which he offers some insightful observations...
Bill Gates releases Windows OS for humans: ‘MonkeySoft’ Vista
SEATTLE—While Bill Gates officially has left the Windows board to focus on bioterrorism, he has returned briefly for a release...
Jimmy Kimmel credits being vaxxed and boosted for getting COVID 2 times in a month instead of 3
HOLLYWOOD—Legacy late night television star Jimmy Kimmel continues to test positive for COVID-19. Earlier this month, the 54-year-old late-night talk show host...
Biden to release 100m barrels of baby formula from strategic reserves, send it to the border
WASHINGTON, DC—Americans can rest easy on the baby food shortage according to President Joe Biden, announcing he will issue an...
