BREAKING: Dead rabid fox who bit Democrats surges to lead in 2024 presidential poll
WASHINGTON, DC—The mother fox that bit at least nine Democrats near the U.S. Capitol and was euthanized shortly after has...
Newsbeat
BREAKING: Disney buys ‘Epstein Island’ for new kids-only theme park
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has purchased the controversial island owned by convicted pedophile and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. The company...
Chris Rock avoids all ‘appearance’ jokes with feisty crowd at Mos Eisley Cantina
TATOOINE—Star pilots crowded the Mos Eisley Cantina last Saturday night as comedian, Chris Rock opened to a sold out crowd....
BREAKING: Biden makes April Fool’s Day an official US holiday, extends it to end of the year
WASHINGTON, DC—Despite efforts to cancel April Fool's Day because reality is so ridiculous, President* Joe Biden has made it a...
FACT CHECK: Biden didn’t call for regime change in Russia when he said Russia’s regime needs to change
WARSAW—The White House said that U.S. President* Joe Biden was not calling for regime change in Russia when he said...
Real ‘Butcher of Mariupol’ says he’s not giving up his title to some Russian General over a few dead friends
MARIUPOL, UKRAINE—Viktor Morozova has been cutting meat and serving the local community since he was ‘only as tall as a...
World’s most expensive whore makes largest donation in Planned Parenthood history
SEATTLE—The world's most expensive whore, MacKenzie Scott, has donated $275 million to the abortion mill nonprofit Planned Parenthood — the...
Local leftist swaps ‘Coexist’ bumper sticker with ‘Kill Every Russian NOW!’ sticker
US—A local leftist, Wankie McLittlejon, has finally switched his ‘Coexist’ bumper sticker to one that says ‘Kill Every Russian NOW!'...
SCOTUS pick Jackson declines to define ‘woman’ because she ‘never got to see Kindergarten Cop’
Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson and GOP Sen. Marsha Blackburn sparred over questions of sex and gender during the second day...
BREAKING: Psaki tests positive for COVID; will miss Biden’s false flag assassination in Europe
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said she tested positive for COVID-19 Tuesday so she will not be joining President* Joe Biden...
