BREAKING: Omicron surpasses Alec Baldwin in leading causes of death in US
US—The Center for Disease Control and Promotion (CDC) reported today that the COVID Omicron variant has surpassed Alec Baldwin in...
Newsbeat
Fauci now recommends face masks over your eyes so you can’t read his leaked emails
WASHINGTON, DC—A treasure trove of emails from National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) Director Dr. Anthony Fauci’s were...
DoD quietly adds new DEFCON levels for Biden food cravings, poopy pants
WASHINGTON, DC—The Office of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has notified media outlets that the Department of Defense has added...
Penn’s trans swimmer complains of ball-crushing swimsuit in loss to Yale’s trans swimmer
NEW HAVEN, CT—The University of Pennsylvania transwoman swimmer Lia Thomas complained of her swimsuit crushing her lady balls in her...
Justice Sotomayor ‘pretty sure’ Omicron has killed every American already
WASHINGTON, DC—Arguable the most intelligent Supreme Court Justice if not most intelligent person in the world, Sonia Sotomayor was disappointed...
Fauci ‘feeling fine’ after latest booster
WASHINGTON, DC—America's Doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci, says he's "feeling fine" following the latest COVID booster shot, which involves dozens of...
Top Genesius Times Stories from 2021
Despite the censorship by Fascbook and Twatter, a gajillion people delighted in Genesius Times articles in 2021! Here are the...
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell was tragically killed in auto accident tomorrow
NEW YORK--In a shocking coincidence, Ghislaine Maxwell, who just today was convicted of sex trafficking minors was tragically killed in...
CNN to report on the thousands of people not shot in Chicago over the weekend
(CNN)—We at CNN have a new policy in which, instead of reporting on the number of people shot and killed...
Due to supply chain shortages Chick-fil-A changes name to Cat-fil-A
ATLANTA—Due to supply chain issues across the US, the largest fast casual restaurant chain, Chik-fil-A, is changing its name to...
