FBI Reports ‘Crime is Way Down’ After Changing the Definition of Crime to Exclude Murder and Theft
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has reported that crime is "way down" in the United States, after changing the definition of crime...
Newsbeat
BREAKING: Hunter Biden guilty verdict overturned after 300,000 not guilty votes were found at 3am
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, Hunter Biden's guilty verdict on gun charges has been overturned after 300,000...
Inadequate Judge Merchan can’t gag Stormy Daniels: ‘I’ve Tried’
In a shocking turn of events, notoriously small jurist, Judge Merchan, has been unable to gag Stormy Daniels, the adult...
Nation mourns horrible tragedy that mass shooter wasn’t white
(CNN) Thousands across the country are mourning the loss by the mainstream media of another chance to stoke the white...
BREAKING: All Congresspeople who voted for Ukraine funding have been drafted to fight in the war
Washington, DC—In a shocking turn of events, all Congresspeople who voted in favor of Ukraine funding have received a surprise...
BREAKING: January 6 defendants released after claiming they were ‘just protesting for Gaza’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking twist of events, several January 6 defendants have been released from custody after claiming that they...
Zelensky reminds every American to do their taxes so that he will get paid
KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky made an urgent plea for every American to make sure and do their taxes so that...
BREAKING: Eyewitnesses report that the Ghost of Kyiv has entered Iraqi airspace
BAGHDAD—Eyewitnesses have reported that the elusive and mysterious Ghost of Kyiv has entered Iranian airspace, taking on the Iranian air...
BREAKING: OJ Simpson led police on a low speed chase in extended cab white Bronco hearse to funeral
LOS ANGELES—OJ Simpson, the infamous former football star, led police on a slow and low speed chase on the 410...
BREAKING: NY earthquake caused by Deep State nuke attack on Trump’s National Golf Club
BEDMINSTER, NEW JERSEY - In ongoing efforts to bankrupt former President and candidate Donald Trump, deep state operatives set off...
