BREAKING: President Biden was tragically killed in a car accident tomorrow
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, newly sworn-in President Joe Biden has tragically died in a car accident tomorrow....
Newsbeat
BREAKING: US Constitution dead at 233
UNITED STATES—Media reports confirm that shortly after Joe Biden was sworn in as president, the Constitution of the United States...
BREAKING: Violent insurgency continues in DC during Biden inauguration
WASHINGTON, DC—Despite the 25,000 armed National Guardsmen around the US capital, the violent insurgency by Trump supporters unable to accept...
25k National Guard troops for inauguration will be Joe Biden’s largest crowd ever
WASHINGTON, DC—As many as 25,000 National Guard personnel are pouring into Washington, DC to enhance security for Wednesday's presidential inauguration,...
In genius move, Trump puts all of Congress in maximum security federal prison for last act as president
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that some are calling the most ingenious political maneuvers of all time, President Donald Trump has...
Forest fire arsonist identified as Squirrel Lives Matter activist
SAN OAK, CA—Months after forest fires destroyed thousands of acres of woodland, a four-legged arsonist, Chippy Nutfield, has been arrested....
BREAKING: Democrats promise to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have officially promised to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power. "We pinky swear...
BREAKING: Biden declares Republicans will only get 3/5ths of a vote from now on
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold strategy to unify the country, President-elect Joe Biden has declared that, going forward, Republicans will only...
To promote gender equity, US Post Office now offering two delivery options: mail and femail
WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. Postal Service announced that starting today, it’ll be offering two delivery options: mail and femail. “The Post...
BREAKING: Biden promises jail time for everyone who voted for Trump
WASHINGTON, DC—President-elect Joe Biden has issued a statement declaring everyone who voted for Trump a "domestic terrorist" and promising jail...
