CNN: How Biden finally found and killed Osama bin Laden
WASHINGTON, DC—Before he gave the order to kill notorious terrorist Osama bin Laden, President* Joe Biden wanted to intimately understand what his...
Politics
BREAKING: A majority of wolves vote to kill several sheep
KANSAS—An overwhelmingly majority of wolves voted today to eat several sheep. It was the first electoral test of the issue...
91% of Americans disappointed China didn’t blow Nancy Pelosi’s plane out of the sky
US—A Pew Pew Institute poll conducted today shows that 91% of Americans are disappointed that China didn't blow Nancy Pelosi's...
BREAKING: Biden makes ‘State of Emergency’ the 51st state of the Union
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unprecedented move, President* Joe Biden has unilaterally made "State of Emergency" the 51st state of the Union—a...
BREAKING: China threatens to cut Pelosi off from vodka if she lands in Taiwan
BEIJING—A senior official in Beijing has pulled out all the stops in trying to prevent a US Speaker of the...
AOC says she was ‘just kidding about the Green New Deal’ as she pumps the AC to 72°
US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been making the case for reducing fossil fuels use and reducing one’s carbon footprint. But she recently...
BREAKING: FBI investigating invisible noose found in AOC’s office
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has sent 15 agents to investigate an invisible noose found in US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's office yesterday....
JUST IN: White House Press Secretary replaced by a literal gaslight
WASHINGTON, DC—After acknowledging the difficulty in constantly gaslighting the American public about everything from the economy to the war in...
Biden Administration Changes the Definition of ‘Dementia’
As Americans continue to question President Biden's mental fitness and competency, the White House proudly announced updates to the Department...
Zelensky and wife pose for Vogue cover with their new billions
KYIV—The war conflict between Ukraine and Russia continues, while that happens the President of the country with capital in Kyiv, Volodymyr Zelensky, appeared...
