Biden to release 100m barrels of baby formula from strategic reserves, send it to the border
WASHINGTON, DC—Americans can rest easy on the baby food shortage according to President Joe Biden, announcing he will issue an...
Politics
On first day, new Biden Press Secretary answers ‘Because I’m a black lesbian’ to every question
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to every question about the economy to the war in Ukraine, the new White House Press Secretary...
Department of Misinformation opens first ‘Truth Camp’ near Bakersfield
BAKERSFIELD, CA—The Department of Misinformation opened the first Truth Camp this weekend. Several anonymous sources have confirmed that 27 persons,...
Amid shortage, US infants identifying as illegal immigrants to get baby formula from Biden
Springfield—American infants from San Diego to Sheboygan are identifying as illegal immigrants in order to get hard-to-come-by baby formula shipped...
Biden to release 100m barrels of baby formula from strategic reserves, send it to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—Americans can rest easy on the baby food shortage according to President Joe Biden, announcing he will issue an...
Chinese gay community boasts 73 characters, LGBTQ+ cries foul
BEIJING—Gay activist, Peni Xi Hung announced the addition of 13 more groups to the Chinese gay + community bringing the...
Biden promises to fix baby formula shortage by sending more weapons to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden addressed the "shocking" baby formula shortage in the US by sending more weapons to Ukraine. "Really...
Zelensky assures US that 10% of $40B aid package will go to the ‘Big Guy’
KYIV—Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky has agreed to a peace deal effectively ending the Ukraine-Russia war immediately following the deposit of...
Psaki says parents who can’t find baby formula ‘should have just had an abortion’
WASHINGTON, DC—Outgoing White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said that parents who are having trouble finding baby formula amid a...
