CNN: Austere musician mostly peacefully plows down 5 in Christmas parade
(CNN) At least five people have mostly peacefully died and 40 are injured after an austere musician plowed into a...
Politics
BREAKING: Prosecutor Binger crowned Miss Trial 2021
KENOSHA, WI—Prosecutor Thomas Binger was crowned Miss Trial of 2021 and will be given the rest of his career off...
BLM looking forward to some early Black Friday looting following Rittenhouse acquittal
KENOSHA, WI—Black Lives Matter activists across the country are looking forward to some early Black Friday looting once Kyle Rittenhouse...
CNN: Biden to ensure this supply chain stays open
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden is working nonstop to combat the supply chain issues that President* Biden is creating. But he has...
Failed presidential candidate ‘Beto’ launches gubernatorial ‘Beta’ campaign
EL PASO—If at first you don’t succeed, try failing again. That’s the unofficial motto for Robert O’Rourke's Texas gubernatorial campaign after his...
US House indicts 90% of Americans for Contempt of Congress
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the House indictment of Trump ally Steven Bannon for Contempt of Congress, the House, led by Speaker Nancy...
OPED: It’s okay to be racist if your name is Biden
I don't know who needs to hear this but it's okay to be racist if your name is Biden. This...
BREAKING: Kyle Rittenhouse Found Guilty of Murdering Prosecutor’s Career
KENOSHA, WI—A career suicide turned in a career murder when Kyle Rittenhouse took the stand to defend himself. After a...
Buttigieg to fix supply chain issues by making all US highways gay
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg pointed to homophobia as the reason for America's current supply chain issues during an appearance on MSDNC's Morning Fellatio on...
