Virginia’s new governor recklessly allows children to breathe freely all day
(CNN) We knew it would be bad, but we didn't know it would be this bad. Virginia's new Republican Governor...
Politics
Biden changes name to Emperor Palbiden, establishes Galactic Empire
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare press conference, President* Biden said that he has officially changed his name to Emperor Palbiden and...
Biden to build new border wall to protect Americans from ‘American’ts’
Washington D.C. - “There’s good walls and there’s bad walls.” President Joe Biden announced last night at a fund raiser...
Biden deploys 2 AT-ATs to defend White House against ‘rebel scum’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has deployed two All Terrain Armored Transport (AT-AT) vehicles to the White House to defend against "rebel...
Count Chocula endorses Gavin Newsom for 2024 presidential run
SACRAMENTO—Is Governor Gavin Newsom throwing his hat in the ring for the 2024 presidential election? We don’t know the answer...
BREAKING: Supreme Court rules the Constitution doesn’t apply to nurses
US—The US Supreme Court had ruled that the Constitution doesn't apply to healthcare workers and that nurses and physicians can...
BREAKING: Omicron surpasses Alec Baldwin in leading causes of death in US
US—The Center for Disease Control and Promotion (CDC) reported today that the COVID Omicron variant has surpassed Alec Baldwin in...
Fauci releases new book: ‘Everything I Don’t Like is Medical Misinformation’
WASHINGTON, DC—It seemed that Dr. Anthony Fauci was on the ropes in the latest exchange between Dr. Rand Paul and...
DoD quietly adds new DEFCON levels for Biden food cravings, poopy pants
WASHINGTON, DC—The Office of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has notified media outlets that the Department of Defense has added...
‘There is no mass formation psychosis’ says the people perpetrating mass formation psychosis
US—There is no evidence of mass formation psychosis according to the people perpetrating mass formation psychosis. Mass formation psychosis, according...
