Democrats urge the ‘Stupid, inbred, racist, Nazi Republicans’ to tone down the rhetoric
WASHINGTON, DC—In the wake of the shocking assassination of conservative commentator Charlie Kirk, Democratic leaders have issued a heartfelt plea...
Politics
BREAKING: Democrats promise to keep killing people until you give up your guns
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have promised to keep killing people until you give up your guns. Former Speaker of the House...
Brave NC Judge Sentences Knife To Life In The Utensil Drawer
CHARLOTTE, NC — Judge Teresa Stokes has sentenced a knife to life imprisonment without parole in a utensil drawer. The...
Liberals drop support for Ukraine after discovering Ukrainians are white
US—Progressive activists across the United States have abruptly withdrawn their support for Ukraine following the tragic murder of Iryna Zarutska,...
Leftists quietly update profile pics to ‘Slava Ukraini! * unless a crazy black man kills an innocent Ukrainian on a train’
In a nuanced display of moral acrobatics, progressive activists across the United States have begun updating their social media profile...
BREAKING: Federal Judge Overturns President Trump’s Claim That He’s Still Alive
WASHINGTON, DC—Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has formally overturned President Donald J. Trump’s repeated statements that he is “alive and well,”...
Thousands of depressed, obese, suicidal asthmatics demand RFK Jr stop ‘endangering our health!’
US—In a stunning display of collective wheezing, thousands of self-described “depressed, obese, suicidal asthmatics” gathered outside the Capitol yesterday to...
Chicago proves it doesn’t need National Guard by only killing 7 and injuring 54 over weekend
In a bold display of civic pride, Chicago residents celebrated the city’s decision to keep the National Guard at bay...
Kamala Harris’s New Security Team to Use Only Nerf Guns
LOS ANGELES—Former Vice President Kamala Harris has replaced her lapsed Secret Service detail with a private security team armed solely...
My spoon killed another 2 gallons of ice cream last night; it’s time for common sense spoon control
This morning, I was devastated to find out that my spoon ate another 2 gallons of ice cream last night....
