Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo
WASHINGTON — In a decisive show of executive efficiency, Donald Trump has ordered a specialized federal maintenance team to address...
Politics
Evangelicals Finally Find a Graven Image They Can Worship
DORAL, FL — After centuries of staunchly opposing the veneration of religious statues — including centuries of criticism directed at...
Democratic lawmakers are furious that they have to follow laws
RICHMOND, Va. — Democratic leaders in Virginia voiced profound disappointment Tuesday following a state Supreme Court ruling that struck down...
Evangelicals Update the Bible: ‘Thou Shalt Have No Graven Images…Except If It’s Gold Plated and Owns the Libs’
DORAL, FL — Following a solemn blessing ceremony at Trump National Doral Miami, evangelical leaders announced a long-overdue clarification to...
Israel Celebrates US-Iran Peace Plan by Bombing the Hell Out of Lebanon
TEL AVIV — Israeli officials announced Thursday that a landmark peace initiative with Iran would be moving forward, marking the...
Kentucky Derby winner declines White House invitation: ‘If I wanted to see a horse’s ass I would’ve come in second’
Jerry Jabba Jr., jockey for the Kentucky Derby winner, has declined an invitation to the White House, saying, "If I...
Judge Overturns Cole Allen’s Failed Assassination Attempt, Grants Him Chance to Retry
WASHINGTON — In a landmark ruling Tuesday, U.S. Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui vacated the unsuccessful assassination attempt in the criminal...
Trump Announces Targeted Bombing of the Critical Infrastructure of Sen John Thune
WASHINGTON — Donald Trump declared Tuesday that the United States will launch targeted bombing campaigns against key infrastructure controlled by...
Somali Government to Honor World War 11 Veteran and Hero George Floyd
Mogadishu — The Somali Ministry of Defense announced Tuesday that it will posthumously award the Order of the Banana Star...
Ilhan Omar’s Brother-Husband Is Decorated World War 11 Veteran and Hero
WASHINGTON — In a development that has left historians, basic mathematicians, and anyone capable of counting past ten utterly baffled,...
