Cuomo: ‘Pizza is a substantive food unless you put pineapple on it’
NEW YORK—Governor Andrew Cuomo, in a lengthy explanation of possibly the most arbitrary government mandate in the long history arbitrary...
Politics
BLM rejects Marxism once they find out Karl Marx was an old white guy
By now every sentient being is well aware that Black Lives Matter has absolutely nothing to do with Black lives....
Having not found 5 righteous people in Chicago, Trump orders a surge of fire and brimstone
President Donald Trump, having not found even 5 righteous people in the city of Chicago, announced plans Wednesday to send...
Portland moms finally pick up their kids from their little Antifa protest
PORTLAND, OR--Moms from around Portland finally came to pick up their kids from their little Antifa protest at the federal...
Feminists protest National Hotdog Day in order to defeat the Patriarchy
CHICAGO—A group of 100 feminists marched defiantly outside Vienna Beef headquarters today, in order to protest national hotdog day, July...
Twitter bans thousands of QAnon users who had already left Twitter cause Twitter sucks
Twitter announced on Tuesday that the social media company had banned thousands of accounts by QAnon users who had already...
BREAKING: California mandates conversion therapy for white people
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has announced a new mandated program of conversion therapy for people stricken with whiteness. "Californians have woken...
MLB replaces racist white baseballs with orange Trump bobble head balls
Just in time for the start of the upcoming abbreviated Major League Baseball season Commissioner Rob Manfred has made the...
‘Defund’ movement stalls after losing funding
The "defund" movement has stalled after losing funding. However there is still some grassroots efforts underway to defund things. Here's...
Tear-gassed protesters discover face masks don’t work
PORTLAND—Thousands of tear-gassed protesters from across the country are discovering that their face masks don't work when they get a...
