Breaking: Pope Francis endorses Elizabeth Warren for President
Not one to shy away from political discourse, Pope Francis has thrown his hat—er headdress—into the discussion of who will...
Politics
BREAKING: Local man nominated for Nobel Prize after constantly complaining about the heat
Local resident Sam Bilkie has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize after consistent complaining about the heat this summer....
Greta Thunberg sails away on hot air balloon powered by her own fiery breath
Opposed to the horrific gas guzzlers that are transatlantic jet liners, Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg arrived in the US...
#BelieveSurvivors protestors disbelieve man who survived socialism
A young Russian man was ousted from the bi-weekly Women’s March in Washington D.C. yesterday while displaying a sign with...
BREAKING: Dems move to impeach Trump for exposing a crime and elect the man who committed the crime
Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced on Tuesday that the House would initiate a formal impeachment inquiry against President Trump for exposing a crime. At...
Thunberg to Obama: ‘How dare you buy beachfront property at the start of the mass extinction!’
Former President Barack Obama met with teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg last week and Genesius Times has discovered that the...
Swedish lovechild of Bill Nye takes up the torch of telling people how to live their lives
The environment was intense as 16 year old Greta Thunberg yelled recycled platitudes at a room full of adults who...
SHOCKING: 16-year-old girl delivers emotional, self-centered complaint to her elders
In a shocking twist of events at the UN Climate Action Summit in New York, a 16-year-old girl, Greta Thunberg, delivered an...
Gun manufacturer changes name of AR-15 to MS-13 to get support of Democrats
Colt, the manufacturer of the AR-15 has announced that it is changing the name of the rifle to "MS-13" in...
Environmentalists make statement by trashing hundreds of parks around the globe
Environmentalists, inspired by 16-year-old Greta Thunberg, have made their voices heard in a dramatic statement by trashing hundreds of parks...
