CDC warns US NOT to get J&J shot after J&J failed to contribute enough to DNC
ATLANTA—A Centers for Disease Control and Proliferation (CDC) advisory committee voted Thursday to advise calling mRNA coronavirus vaccines such as...
Science
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $600B to label all CDC tweets as misinformation
AUSTIN—The world's wealthiest man and recent Time Person of the Year Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform...
BREAKING: Dr. Fauci mixes COVID variants to create even more deadly variant “Deltacron”
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Fauci has been working tirelessly over the past year and a half to stay relevant for literally forever,...
Australians shocked to wake up in concentration camps after giving up their guns
DARWIN–Thousands of Australians were shocked to find themselves in concentration camps just a few short years after giving up their...
BREAKING: US proposes new lockdown to stop the Omicron variant
US—Citizens across the US proposed new lockdown measures in the face of the scary-sounding Omicron coronavirus variant. "It's pretty clear...
BREAKING: Travel bans aren’t racist anymore
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials have declared that it is no longer racist to restrict travel from Africa after President* Joe Biden restricted...
How to Get Over Hesitance of Giving Your Kids Deadly Drugs to Prevent Diseases that Don’t Harm them
We at Genesius Times care about your health. But we care about our bottom line more. That's why we're offering...
Gates warns he will release smallpox if people don’t get COVID vaccine
SEATTLE—Tech founder and worldwide supervillain Bill Gates says that he will release the deadliest disease known to man—smallpox—if people don’t get vaccinated...
BREAKING: Pfizer releases new vaccine to protect against the side effects of its COVID vaccine
ATLANTA—Scientists are amazed by the quick development of yet another new vaccine under Project Warp Speed. The new vaccine developed...
OPED: It’s okay to be racist if your name is Biden
I don't know who needs to hear this but it's okay to be racist if your name is Biden. This...
