Democrats hold contest to name upcoming election season Covid variants
WASHINGTON DC—With interest in the China Virus declining, Democrats are holding a nationwide contest to name new variants to reinvigorate...
Science
BREAKING: California legalizes needle rape for K-12 schools
SACRAMENTO—California on Friday became the first state to legalize needle rape for all public and private schoolchildren, a move affecting...
BREAKING: Biden deports all horses to Mexico
Equine members of the Animal Kingdom have been a part of man's civilization for thousands of years. Horses have been...
BREAKING: We must force-dorf the undorfed to dorf the dorfed with the dorf that didn’t dorf the dorfed
US—A new study was just released showing that we must force-dorf the undorfed in order to dorf the dorfed with...
Biden mandates shoving marbles up everyone’s asses after tweet by Nicki Minaj
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Biden has issued a rare edict mandating that all Americans have marbles shoved up their asses to fight...
You idiots need to wear seatbelts so that my seatbelt will work
I don't know who needs to hear this but you idiots need to use your seatbelts so that mine will...
BREAKING: Biden mandates proof of vaccination or proof you’re an illegal alien to keep working
WASHINGTON, DC—He tried encouraging. He tried cajoling. He tried dangling gifts and all manner of incentives. But eight months into...
No you DON’T have a right to privacy with vaccines, that only applies to killing babies
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you DO NOT have a right to privacy about your vaccination...
The Institute of Unfinished Research has determined that 6 out of 10 people
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA--A new study published by the Institute of Unfinished Research has determined that 6 out of 10 people....
Harvard elects first brainless man as provost
In an unprecedented move, the elite Ivy League university has selected a man without a brain to lead the school's...
