Gov Hochul Moves Bills Playoff Game to June To Avoid Cold and Snow
BUFFALO—In a move that left football fans scratching their heads and meteorologists questioning their careers, Governor Kathy Hochul has boldly...
Sports
Mark Cuban ends discriminatory hiring at Dallas Mavericks; signs 4’3″ powerhouse Wei Wu as Center
DALLAS—In a groundbreaking move towards diversity and inclusion, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has declared war on discriminatory hiring practices...
KC Chiefs change name to KC Swifts, promise more airtime to new mascot
In a surprising move that combines sports, pop culture, and an apparent disdain for controversial mascots, the Kansas City Swifts...
AOC: If transwomen aren’t women, why are they winning all the women’s sports?
I've got something super important to talk about. So, like, if transwomen aren't women, why are they winning all the...
Young Chiefs fan apologizes for appropriating Elizabeth Warren and wearing Trudeau Face
In an unforeseen twist at a recent Chiefs game, a young fan found himself inadvertently thrust into the political limelight,...
Subway hires Megan Rapinoe as Sandwich Artist after retiring from soccer
In an unexpected turn of events, soccer sensation Megan Rapinoe has found a new calling after what some are calling...
Notre Dame changes mascot to Fighting Right-Wing Extremists following Dublin riots
SOUTH BEND, IN—In an unexpected turn of events that left the university community bewildered and perhaps a tad nervous, University...
US Women’s Soccer Team promises to win next World Cup by replacing all the women with high school boys
In an unexpected twist to boost their chances at the next World Cup, the US Women's Soccer Team has unveiled...
Disney announces their newest princess: Colin Kaepernick
ALTA VISTA, FL—Disney has announced their newest princess, Colin Kaepernick, who will star in a new film that will “showcase...
NFL Draft update: Chicago Bears trade first round pick for magic beans
In a stunning turn of events during the NFL Draft, the Chicago Bears shocked the football world by trading their...
