WASHINGTON DC—As we have heard from virtually every Democrat in both the House and Senate, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a saint. She spent her earliest years inventing air, water, and sunlight, and later in life was responsible for making all men feel like second class citizens and presumptive rapists.
And of course, she invented the “MeToo” movement which was incorrectly attributed to Tarana Burke and later popularized by Alyssa Milano. What was not well-publicized is the undisputed fact that RBG was serially abused by every male Supreme Court Justice. No, not occasionally, almost daily. It was a well-kept secret that RBG was not only a Supreme Court Justice but a sex worker who gave legal opinions only when she had time between turning tricks and running strip clubs. Damn Main Street Media, can’t live with ’em, can’t kill ’em.
But Republicans are generous folks and don’t want RBG to be lonely on her final trip. This is why names have been entered by several congressmen to join her in her ‘final quest’. The name that came up first in almost every meeting was Nancy Pelosi. Now it’s not completely known if Nancy actually passed a few years ago pre-deceasing RBG with only Botox, cocaine, and speed making her look almost alive.
Other names that Republicans want to see join RBG and her special #MeToo movement include Christine Balsley Ford, Gretchen Widmer, The Entire Squad, Bette Midler, Alyssa Milano, and Jane Fonda. G.T. has sent invitations to all these amazing women and we await their timely response. However, we have taken the precaution of having all our mail screened by White House staff before opening.