Beto livestreams a bout of violent diarrhea
In an effort to stay ultra-relative and relateable, the Democratic presidential candidate Robert Francis "Beto" O'Rourke has been livestreaming absolutely...
Tech
Antifa member takes break from overthrowing capitalism to snap selfie with iPhone
The life of an anti-capitalist, anti-fascist, commie can be very tough and it's not very rewarding. Antifa members must take...
OPINION: Stupid Christians think they know their Scripture better than me
As my readers are probably well aware, I am a really smart atheist. That is how I discovered atheism because...
Facebook bans itself for acting too much like Nazis
After Facebook banned several prominent personalities for posting things they didn't agree with and acting too much like Nazis, the...
Hipster environmentalists use natural smoke signals to protest pollution
In a bold new strategy, hipster environmentalists are using traditional smoke signals instead of environment-killing electronics to protest pollution. "We...
Pro-choice astronauts: ‘No sign of life here, just these growing human fetuses’
The first astronauts to reach Mars were disappointed to find absolutely no sign of life anywhere on the planet, though...
Russians completely undermine US democracy with $974 of Facebook ads
While the charges of collusion between President Trump and Russia appear to be unwarranted, there is massive evidence that Russia...
OPINION: No one voted for AOC’s Green New Deal because they’re sexist
The Senate voted on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Green New Deal this week after some epic arguments. No one voted for it...
Sen. Mike Lee jumps on Green New Deal taun taun wagon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK27NZon11w In a beautiful speech, Senator Mike Lee of Utah defends Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Green New Deal and jumps on the...
First all-female spacewalk cancelled because they ‘couldn’t find the perfect outfit’
A historic spacewalk was scheduled to occur this week, with only women operating outside the ISS for the first time...
