Saudis open new Hajj park in Switzerland around the Matterhorn
MATTERHORN, SWITZERLAND—How much more enjoyable will the Hadj be with hot cocoa? This once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage, a mandatory religious duty for...
World
BREAKING: Congress votes to move US-Mexico border wall to Ukraine
In a bipartisan vote, the US House of Representatives voted to send the border wall between US and Mexico to...
Biden: ‘Let’s not forget those brave Chinese kamikazes’ on Pearl Harbor anniversary
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden honored the "brave Chines Kamikazis" and other military personnel who attacked the United States December 7, 1941....
Australians shocked to wake up in concentration camps after giving up their guns
DARWIN–Thousands of Australians were shocked to find themselves in concentration camps just a few short years after giving up their...
LeBron changes last name to ‘Slavery’ to get back at Enes Kanter Freedom
LOS ANGELES—The growing feud between NBA players Enes Kanter and LeBron James just got more intense as Kanter became an...
Rep who calls all Americans terrorists is offended at being called a terrorist
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Ilhan Omar (D-MN) who regularly calls all Americans terrorists was recently offended when Rep Lauren Boebert made...
BREAKING: Travel bans aren’t racist anymore
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials have declared that it is no longer racist to restrict travel from Africa after President* Joe Biden restricted...
Failed presidential candidate ‘Beto’ launches gubernatorial ‘Beta’ campaign
EL PASO—If at first you don’t succeed, try failing again. That’s the unofficial motto for Robert O’Rourke's Texas gubernatorial campaign after his...
CNN: Why napping during climate speeches is good for the environment
(CNN)Taking naps on the job is the new technique to help the environment, science says. So, when the leader of...
CBS cancels World Series due to constant ‘F*** Joe Biden’ chanting in crowd
US—CBS has cancelled the World Series after constant chanting from the crowd disrupted game four. Fans chanted "F*** Joe Biden"...
