Zelensky promises Pelosi she will get her cut of the money laundering paid in vodka
KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has promised that US Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi will get her cut of the...
World
White House: Biden’s hands identify as separate personality dubbed ‘Handsy’
WASHINGTON, DC—Psychologists say, after years of repression, it looks like President Biden has developed split personality disorder. A representative from...
DC Mayor to Texas Gov: ‘How dare you send illegals to my city that openly welcomes them!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Mayor Muriel Bowser blasted Texas Governor Greg Abbott for bussing illegal immigrants to the nation's capital. "How dare you...
BREAKING: DC erects border wall around city to keep Texas from sending illegal immigrants there
WASHINGTON, DC—Mayor Muriel "Bow Wow" Bowser has erected a border wall around the perimeter of the nation's capital to keep...
BREAKING: Newsom declares state of emergency after Russia destroys several California cities
SACRAMENTO—The Russian offensive in Ukraine has spread to California as several cities have been utterly destroyed. California Governor Gavin Newsom...
BREAKING: Pelosi tests positive for COVID but is asymptomatic due to all the alcohol in her blood
WASHINGTON, DC—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has tested positive for COVID-19, according to a statement the California Democrat released Thursday, but...
BREAKING: Colorado mandates everyone in the state has at least one abortion a year
DENVER—In response to the anti-abortion bill in Oklahoma, Colorado legislators have passed a bill mandating that every Coloradan get at...
Russian Joker spotted in Ukraine
KYIV, UKRAINE—How far will the Russian ‘Joker’ go, carrying out his mad plan?Will the ‘batshit crazy virus’ inside his head...
BREAKING: New York to pay pedophiles $100k to relocate to NYC from Florida
NEW YORK—Mayor Eric Adams has launched a new campaign to lure pedophiles and groomers to the city following the passage...
Chris Rock avoids all ‘appearance’ jokes with feisty crowd at Mos Eisley Cantina
TATOOINE—Star pilots crowded the Mos Eisley Cantina last Saturday night as comedian, Chris Rock opened to a sold out crowd....
