BREAKING: India bombs Pakistan after they refused to send their ‘bobs and vagene’
NEW DELHI—In a shocking escalation of South Asian tensions, India has reportedly launched a full-scale military offensive against Pakistan, codenamed...
World
BREAKING: Trump Ends US-Canada Trade War with Bold Swap: Seattle and Portland for Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba
Washington, D.C./Ottawa, April 29, 2025 – In a move that has left economists dumbfounded, patriots clutching their Tim Hortons cups,...
Congratulations to Portugal and Spain on accidentally achieving net zero before 2050
Lisbon/Madrid, April 29, 2025 – In a plot twist that has left climate scientists dumbfounded, tech bros unemployed, and candle...
Cleveland Browns draft wife-beater Kilmar Garcia for roster depth
CLEVELAND, OH – In a move that has left NFL fans simultaneously stunned and oddly unsurprised, the Cleveland Browns used...
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes
In a stunning turn of events that has left the Catholic Church reeling and Twitter ablaze, pop superstar Katy Perry...
Fetuses identifying as MS-13 gang members to get Democrats to start fighting for their rights
US—Millions of fetuses across the United States have reportedly begun identifying as members of the notorious MS-13 gang, hoping to...
Trade war escalates: Trump slaps 150% tariff on Mitch McConnell’s wife
President Donald Trump announced a 150% tariff on Elaine Chao, the wife of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, in what...
BREAKING: Democrats furious that Trump did what they’ve demanded he do
President Donald Trump announced a surprise pause on all U.S. tariffs this week, effectively halting the trade war with China...
Trade war escalates: Trump slaps 125% tariff on all of Eric Swalwell’s Chinese spy lovers
Washington, D.C. – The U.S.-China trade war reached a fever pitch this week as President Donald Trump announced a staggering...
Trump Ends U.S.-China Trade War with Bombshell Swap: Hong Kong for Portland, Oregon
Washington, D.C. – In a move that has left global leaders scratching their heads and cartographers reaching for their erasers,...
