AOC: Wrong! We should take out a $34 trillion loan from China to pay off the entire national debt
As a public figure, I've grown accustomed to dealing with all sorts of attention, both positive and negative. However, there's...
World
Biden takes break from persecuting his political enemies to criticize Putin for persecuting his political enemies
WASHINGTON, DC—In a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black, US President* Joe Biden recently took a brief...
Local Chinese restaurant replaces fortune cookie sayings with Fani’s Daddy’s genius
ATLANTA—A Chinese restaurant has bid farewell to tradition and ushered in a new era of enlightenment with its latest culinary...
LIFE HACK: American Seniors flying to Mexico to come back as illegal immigrants to get better state benefits
Thousands of senior citizens are flying to Mexico and walking back over the US border as illegal aliens in order...
Biden Urges Congress: ‘Make Me President So I Can Finally Fix the Border’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has made an unprecedented plea to Congress, urging lawmakers to declare him president so he can...
Biden promises to close the border once there are more illegal aliens in the US than citizens
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that some are hailing as visionary and others as downright confusing, President Joe Biden has unveiled...
BREAKING: Iranian Army Marches Across Southern U.S. Border, Claiming Asylum
US BORDER—An unexpected group has joined the ranks of asylum-seekers at the southern U.S. border – none other than the...
BREAKING: John Bolton hospitalized with a prolonged erection caused by news of war with Iran
CNM News is reporting that former National Security Advisor to President Trump and lifetime hawk has been hospitalized with an...
Joe Biden seeks to be the first US president to start a world war and a civil war in the same year
President* Joe Biden has reportedly decided to make history by simultaneously kickstarting both World War III and a Civil War,...
Texas Razorwire Allowed To Stay After it Identifies As a Harmless Slinky
In a baffling yet oddly poetic turn of events, the controversial razor wire lining the Texas border has declared its...
