Local Chinese restaurant replaces fortune cookie sayings with Fani’s Daddy’s genius
ATLANTA—A Chinese restaurant has bid farewell to tradition and ushered in a new era of enlightenment with its latest culinary...
World
LIFE HACK: American Seniors flying to Mexico to come back as illegal immigrants to get better state benefits
Thousands of senior citizens are flying to Mexico and walking back over the US border as illegal aliens in order...
Biden Urges Congress: ‘Make Me President So I Can Finally Fix the Border’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has made an unprecedented plea to Congress, urging lawmakers to declare him president so he can...
Biden promises to close the border once there are more illegal aliens in the US than citizens
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that some are hailing as visionary and others as downright confusing, President Joe Biden has unveiled...
BREAKING: Iranian Army Marches Across Southern U.S. Border, Claiming Asylum
US BORDER—An unexpected group has joined the ranks of asylum-seekers at the southern U.S. border – none other than the...
BREAKING: John Bolton hospitalized with a prolonged erection caused by news of war with Iran
CNM News is reporting that former National Security Advisor to President Trump and lifetime hawk has been hospitalized with an...
Joe Biden seeks to be the first US president to start a world war and a civil war in the same year
President* Joe Biden has reportedly decided to make history by simultaneously kickstarting both World War III and a Civil War,...
Texas Razorwire Allowed To Stay After it Identifies As a Harmless Slinky
In a baffling yet oddly poetic turn of events, the controversial razor wire lining the Texas border has declared its...
BREAKING: Biden federalizes Texas National Guard troops, sends them to defend Ukraine’s border
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unexpected twist that could rival the most intricate spy novel, President Joe Biden has taken a decisive...
BREAKING: After seeing border crisis first hand in Texas, Biden promises to send $20B more to secure Ukraine’s border
EL PASO—President* Joe Biden walked a muddy stretch of the U.S.-Mexico border and inspected a busy port of entry Sunday on his...
