Guinness World Records awards Mossad for ‘Most Vasectomies at One Time’ surpassing 2024 Democratic Convention
In a ceremony filled with pomp and, ironically, very little circumstance, Guinness World Records awarded the Israeli Mossad the coveted...
World
If you don’t want your pets stolen and eaten by immigrants, you may be a racist homophobe bigot
There’s a new form of bigotry taking root in this country—one that’s just as insidious as anything we’ve seen before....
BREAKING: DOJ warns Russia ‘do not interfere with our interference of our elections’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a rare moment of transparency, Attorney General Merrick Garland issued a stern warning to Russia to...
BREAKING: Following declining poll numbers for Kamala Harris, the WHO declares a global emergency over the monkeypox virus
NEW YORK—Following a sharp decline in Vice President Kamala Harris’s poll numbers, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared a...
First biological cheetah who identifies as a man set to take gold for Lichtenstein at the Paris Olympics
LICHTENSTEIN—The citizens of this small alpine country in the middle of Europe are abuzz as they are set to take...
BREAKING: Angela Carini first women’s boxer to be disqualified for striking opponent in her testicles
PARIS—In a shocking and unprecedented incident at the Paris 2024 Olympics, Italian boxer Angela Carini has become the first athlete...
White House politely asks enemies to not start WWIII between 4pm and 10am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move aimed at accommodating President* Biden's cognitive awareness schedule, the White House has formally requested that all...
Harris removes racist white stripes from US flag in time for 4th of July
WASHINGTON, DC—Following up on a campaign promise to remove the racist white stripes from the US flag, President Vice President...
BREAKING: Biden meets with his family to talk about the future of his campaign
BEIJING—In a heartwarming and strategic move, President Joe Biden recently flew to Beijing for a family reunion to discuss the...
Lego releases new Gaza Pride set
This revolutionary new toy is designed to promote cultural sensitivity and to teach children about the importance of acceptance and...
