New CDC guidelines: coronavirus does not spread when you’re looting, burning your city to the ground

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have released new guidelines again concerning the spread of coronavirus.

“There is no evidence that the novel coronavirus lives on surfaces that are looted or are soon-to-be burnt to the ground,” read a statement by the CDC Director of Communication, Elmer Fludd. “Therefore we do not recommend mandating social distancing if people are going to participate in those activities.”

These new guidelines contradict previous guidelines by Minneapolis health officials who wanted to ensure people were acting responsibly and staying healthy while they burnt their neighborhood to the ground.

“Right now the data are showing that you are being perfectly responsible if you loot or destroy buildings without maintaining a six-foot separation or wearing a face mask,” Fludd said.

This comes as good news to the thousands memorializing the police killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis by destroying department stores and Auto Zone stores.