Mamdani Organizes NYC’s Inaugural Public Stoning of Rape Victim 
WNBA Installs New Mid-Court Pro Wrestling Ring to Help Players Pummel Caitlin Clark 
Trump Stocks Reflecting Pool with Man-Eating Piranhas to Deter Purple-Haired Vandals 
Ewoks have taken over the Obama Presidential Center and have disarmed the shield generator 
Two Imperial AT-ATs Seen Patrolling Around Obama Presidential Center 
General Mills says Lucky Charms ‘contaminant’ is actually 100% organic Leprechaun feces
MINNEAPOLIS—General Mills, the makers of the ‘Lucky Charms’ cereal, are reassuring their customers that the blame for any contamination of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
DC Mayor to Texas Gov: ‘How dare you send illegals to my city that openly welcomes them!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Mayor Muriel Bowser blasted Texas Governor Greg Abbott for bussing illegal immigrants to the nation's capital. "How dare you...
BREAKING: DC erects border wall around city to keep Texas from sending illegal immigrants there
WASHINGTON, DC—Mayor Muriel "Bow Wow" Bowser has erected a border wall around the perimeter of the nation's capital to keep...
I’m going on a hunger strike if Elon Musk takes over Twitter
I haven't written in a few months because I've been paralyzed with fear that my lone outlet in the world...
Biden blames Brooklyn mass shooting on black white supremacy
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has blamed white supremacy for an incident in which a black man killed 10 and injured 19...
POLL: Cancelling student debt popular among people with absolutely worthless degrees
US—A new Pew Pew Institute poll shows the socialist concept of cancelling student debt promoted by Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth...
SCIENCE: CIS men are actually transmen trapped in the bodies of transwomen-the most oppressed group ever
ST. LOUIS—In a new Pew Pew study that will surely lead to the self-immolation of thousands of social justice warriors,...
WATCH: Brave NFL fan demands Dallas Cowboys change their name to Dallas Gayboys
This is a voice that demands to be heard! If you so much as smile or laugh at this earnest...
BREAKING: Newsom declares state of emergency after Russia destroys several California cities
SACRAMENTO—The Russian offensive in Ukraine has spread to California as several cities have been utterly destroyed. California Governor Gavin Newsom...
BREAKING: Dead rabid fox who bit Democrats surges to lead in 2024 presidential poll
WASHINGTON, DC—The mother fox that bit at least nine Democrats near the U.S. Capitol and was euthanized shortly after has...
