Mamdani Organizes NYC’s Inaugural Public Stoning of Rape Victim 
WNBA Installs New Mid-Court Pro Wrestling Ring to Help Players Pummel Caitlin Clark 
Trump Stocks Reflecting Pool with Man-Eating Piranhas to Deter Purple-Haired Vandals 
Ewoks have taken over the Obama Presidential Center and have disarmed the shield generator 
Two Imperial AT-ATs Seen Patrolling Around Obama Presidential Center 
Spotify removes all songs about women because ‘none of these artists are biologists’
NEW YORK—Spotify is taking action to remove all hateful music about women because "none of these artists are biologists," a...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Disney buys ‘Epstein Island’ for new kids-only theme park
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has purchased the controversial island owned by convicted pedophile and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. The company...
NEW: Joe Biden diet and exercise program will take the pounds of in no time
Looking to lose weight and get healthy? We have the perfect diet and exercise plan for you: https://rumble.com/embed/vxbb1j/?pub=w2au8
BREAKING: Pelosi tests positive for COVID but is asymptomatic due to all the alcohol in her blood
WASHINGTON, DC—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has tested positive for COVID-19, according to a statement the California Democrat released Thursday, but...
BREAKING: Elon Musk invades Twitter; workers barricade themselves on 8th floor, plead for Biden to declare ‘no buy’ zone
SAN FRANCISCO—Twitter employees at the Market St. headquarters stacked furniture, shelving and anything they could find against office doors, determined...
Biden’s puppet master revealed in heartwarming White House ceremony
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare White House ceremony, the puppet master for President* Joe Biden was revealed to the world as...
BREAKING: Colorado mandates everyone in the state has at least one abortion a year
DENVER—In response to the anti-abortion bill in Oklahoma, Colorado legislators have passed a bill mandating that every Coloradan get at...
Russian Joker spotted in Ukraine
KYIV, UKRAINE—How far will the Russian ‘Joker’ go, carrying out his mad plan?Will the ‘batshit crazy virus’ inside his head...
CNN: Elon Musk could threaten free speech on Twitter by literally allowing people to speak freely
(CNN) Elon Musk became the largest shareholder of Twitter on Monday, which could threaten free speech on the platform by...
BREAKING: New York to pay pedophiles $100k to relocate to NYC from Florida
NEW YORK—Mayor Eric Adams has launched a new campaign to lure pedophiles and groomers to the city following the passage...
