Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
The Dead Voter nominated for Time Person of the Year
The Dead Voter, one of the most important components to the ongoing 2020 presidential election, has been nominated as Time...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
US Bishops release ‘King Biden Version’ Bible with complete ‘Book of Palms’
WASHINGTON DC—Following an apparent gaffe, when the devoutly Catholic Joe Biden accidentally said "the palmist" instead of "the psalmist", the...
Biden warns not to eat too much turkey or the trunalimunumaprzure will make you sleepy
WASHINGTON DC—Self-appointed President-Elect Joe Biden warned of the many dangers of socializing during a Thanksgiving address Wednesday, warning people particularly...
Sidney Powell shocks Thanksgiving guests by serving 700 pounds of fried sea monster
ATLANTA—Attorney Sidney Powell shocked her Thanksgiving guests on Thursday by serving 700 pounds of fried sea monster instead of the...
BREAKING: Trump finally concedes the election in Massachusetts
WASHINGTON DC—Nearly a month after the election, President Donald Trump has finally conceded the state of Massachusetts. "It really doesn't...
The Race Card is perfect gift for those impossible-to-shop-for relatives
PHILADELPHIA—Whether at a family dinner, a community outing, or even a sporting event, we all have at one time or...
BREAKING: Biden officially changes his name to Cho Bei Den
WASHINGTON DC—Feeling that the election is behind him, Joe Biden has sold the naming rights to the president of the...
BREAKING: Warren Commission argues ‘magic ballot’ killed President Trump’s election hopes
WASHINGTON DC—The Warren Commission has published the official explanation of how Joe Biden—a candidate with record low enthusiasm—flipped several swing...
Twitter launches free-speech alternative called Twit
SAN FRANCISCO—Propaganda app CEO Jack "Rasputin" Dorsey has launched a new free-speech alternative to Twitter called Twit. “I just don't...
VIDEO: Meet two of the dead voters who helped elect Joe Biden
The 2020 presidential election has been really fun—especially for deceased people. The silent majority buried underground voted more in this...
