Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
OPED: How dare Trump spend Defense money on defending the country!
It is a national disgrace that President Trump stolen money from the Defense budget to actually defending the country. Even...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Trump recklessly diverts military funds from unnecessary foreign wars to actually protecting the US
President Trump has directed the Pentagon to recklessly divert $3.6 billion dollars from unnecessary foreign interventions to actually protecting the...
Chicago gangs took Labor Day weekend off; only 7 killed over the holiday weekend
CHICAGO – At least 35 people were shot, including 7 fatally, over the Labor Day weekend in Chicago, a decrease...
BREAKING: Gov. Newsom declares state of emergency after Hurricane Dorian ravages California cities
While Floridians seem to have been spared of Hurricane Dorian's wrath, California Governor Gavin Newsom on the other side of...
Beto vows to personally go door to door and confiscate every AR-15
Hahaha. Sike! No politician is dumb enough to do something as dangerous as that. Even one stupid enough to think...
US Treasury honors Ocasio-Cortez with new ‘zero cents’ AOC coin
The economic intelligence of the US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is well-established and respected. But now it's getting some serious respect...
Scientists can’t predict anything about this hurricane but certain the one in 2030 will be stronger
Scientists are notoriously bad about predicting weather. "There's just too many factors contributing to hurricane Dorian that are unknown or...
OPED: Thank God California banned plastic straws finally!
California has completed the equivalent of the moon landing today. They spent $4 billion ridding this beautiful feces-strewn state of...
BREAKING: Latest Hurricane Dorian prediction maps completed by local toddler
MOBILE, AL—18-month-old and world renown scribbler Bobby has released the latest Hurricane Dorian prediction model maps for the US National...
BREAKING: Biden to end white supremacy once he’s the supreme leader of the country
2020 Democratic front-runner Joe Biden asserted that "white folks are the reason we have institutional racism" and that such things...
