BREAKING: Sen Van Hollen claims it’s ‘disgusting’ that Kilmar Garcia can’t be home in Maryland to beat his wife on Easter like he used to 
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work 
Catholic Nuns Cure ADHD With Simple Life Hack 
Local liberal agonizes over which cold-blooded murderer to support today 
Scientists now say that burning Teslas to the ground is better for the environment than not doing so 
BREAKING: New fake government economic data in line with completely fabricated economic forecast
In a stunning but entirely predictable announcement, the Federal Reserve proudly reported that the latest batch of completely made-up economic...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Feds indict NYC Mayor Eric Adams for ‘Unauthorized Complaining About Federal Immigration Policy’
NEW YORK—In a shocking display of federal overreach that surprised absolutely no one, the Biden/Harris administration's DOJ has officially indicted...
Biden appears on ‘The View’ and finally becomes smartest guy in the room
NEW YORK—After nearly 3 ½ years as president and over 50 years in public office, President* Joe Biden has finally...
BREAKING: Personalized Coke Machine at White House Now Dispenses Actual Dime Bags with Hunter Biden’s Name on Them
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to avoid future confusion and streamline the investigative process, the White House has unveiled a state-of-the-art...
BREAKING: P. Diddy launches ‘Pedophiles for Harris’ group from jail
In a move that’s raising eyebrows across the political spectrum, music mogul Sean “P Diddy” Combs has officially launched a...
BREAKING: Merrick Garland offers to match Ryan Routh’s $150,000 bounty for whoever can ‘finish the job’ on Trump
WAHINGTON, DC—In a jaw-dropping escalation of governmental ingenuity, the Department of Justice, under Attorney General Merrick Garland, has reportedly decided...
BREAKING: Republican Mike Johnson early favorite to win “Democrat of the Year” for 2024
In an unexpected twist, Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is being hailed as the early frontrunner for the...
Terrified terrorists now using soup cans with string for communications
In a bizarre twist of events, international terrorist groups have traded in their encrypted messaging apps and advanced technology for...
Oprah Winfrey hosts Harvey Wienstein reunion party in support of Kamala Harris
HOLLYWOOD HILLS — Oprah Winfrey, queen of daytime television and undisputed gatekeeper of celebrity culture, has outdone herself once again...
BREAKING: Gavin Newsom Signs Bill Making It Illegal for Anyone in California to Talk Except Him
SACRAMENTO, CA – In a bold legislative move that has left political analysts, constitutional scholars, and anyone with a mouth...
